How to get a Consultant Job UK

The following is a bit of tongue in cheek but I hope it might anyone out there who is about to complete their training to get their skates on if they haven’t already…

It’s been a very long time since I last wrote anything on here and in truth I felt as though I didn’t really have much to say…until now.

Let’s go back to about one year ago…

I was blissfully going through my fellowship without thinking much about what to do next. Things were going well. I was in a department full of lovely and supportive people. I was doing my work and doing it well from what I could tell. Then one day one of the consultants sat next to me and asked:

“So Imran, what are your plans?”

I was not sure as to how to answer this. I was still working through the nearby takeways and kebabs places, so in truth, lunch was on my mind. I wanted to try the greek place across the road next. This consultant did not look like he was asking about lunch.

“Have you got a job lined up?”, he said.

It then dawned on me that my time must be coming to an end. I had blocked it out of my mind. I felt like I could stay a fellow forever and besides…I did not feel like a consultant at all.

“No, I haven’t. I’m still looking around”, I lied.

He subsequently went on to ask about how many kids I have, where I live and where I see my future. All important questions, but what has that got to do with anything? I thought it would be a case of a job being advertised and then may the best candidate win? I explained this to him and he laughed.

He donned some sunglasses, held out his hands and said:

“You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I’m offering is the truth.”

I took the red pill.

Next thing I know we are both walking through the busy hospital corridor and he seemed to be gliding through the hustle and bustle whilst I was getting shoved and pushed by porters, patients and other doctors. It was like he had some kind of power that I did not have…yet. It must be nice being a consultant. Everyone just seemed to stay out of his way. We walked on and finally into his office.

We sat down and he made me a nespresso.

“You need to have a plan. You need to start emailing departments that you are interested in working in and asking if they have a job coming up. More often than not they do, but they are waiting for ‘the chosen one’”, he said sternly.

“I was just going to see what pops up on job websites and apply that way. Then it would be just a case of fighting it out at interview?”, I replied confused.

He sniggered and replied.

“Do you think that’s a nespresso you are drinking right now?”

“Er, yes”.

“I guess what I am asking is, are you a chosen one?”, he said straight faced. I couldn’t tell if he had blinked yet. He was still wearing the sunglasses but I got the feeling he was staring me down.

“I don’t know”, I replied. I was genuinely confused. We sat there for a moment and I ended up staring into my reflection in the coffee. I focused on myself and asked in my mind “Am I the chosen one?”.

“Usually you would know by now Imran if you are or if you are not. There is a job coming up right in this place. No one has spoken to you?”. He raised an eyebrow.

“No”, I replied.

“Then I think you know the answer. You have a wife, kids and no job lined up. I suggest you start emailing a few places that you might be interested in. Jobs take a while to be…made”.

With that I left. What on earth just happened? I only had a few months left of this fellowship and no plan. What is “the Chosen one”. How would I find out who that is? How do I find out if I am “the Chosen one” after all? Maybe I still could become “the Chosen one”?

If anyone could help me it would be the Oracle (the head of department). I decided to go ask them.

Again I had to push my way through the busy crowd of people and as soon as I could see the office door at the end of the corridor a black cat walked in front of me blocking my way. I blinked…and it did it again….de ja vu.

I think that means something doesn’t it?